(Pic is in line to get ice cream)

Friday, May 12.

As always, for up with the kids at 7:30, they got ready, had breakfast, got them dropped off at school. I had miscellaneous things to do until I picked them being finding a baby picture of Justin for his 5th grade graduation slide show. Ended up choosing this one:


This picture was taken at Whitefish Lake when Justin and I visited Thunder Bay to spread my mom’s ashes and also celebrate Justin’s 1st birthday! Can’t believe this guy will be in middle school this year!

After the kids got out of school, we went and got ice cream and then headed to the car races here in town, and met Chas there at 6:30 when he got back to town. It was their opening night of their season and it was a free night! I forgot how long and chilly car races are!! The kids learned all about rednecks, hahaha!!! We didn’t ┬árecognize anyone there and I swear half this city was there! It was fun, and the kids first time seeing this! We ended up getting very cold after 3 hours (we showed up at 6, and it went till 10. Chas wasn’t ready to go, but the kids were, so the 3 of us headed home and crashed right away.


April 29!


Holy moly, did this month ever fly by fast!! I am thankful it did! Every day is one day closer to us being free! (On our way to Canada)…

So, I’m going to start with yesterday, Friday the 28th. It was Leadership Day at the kids school..same morning routine, Chas gone before we even got up in the morning. Got kids breakfast, I made their lunches, did Paisley’s hair, got them situated with nice clothes. Then off we went, to bring them to school. I had an appointment with my primary care nurse practitioner, love her to pieces!! They begged me to bring a baby bunny, so that I did. I told her what was going on at home and she was so empathetic..gave me lots of hugs. We figured out my meds, so I would have all I need while we’re gone this summer. Right after that, I dropped bunny off at home and then drove to the school. When I walked in, the receptionist asked if Chas was with me and I replied, “no”.. she had a folder with his name on it, so I said he must be coming, but I do not know what time. I went and sat down, all the kids in the school came out and sang a very sweet song, it made me tear up. Then, it was time for everyone to visit 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th grade classrooms. All the kids had a job to tell everyone about something…Paisley’s was to tell about their Christmas workshop where they have fake money to ‘buy’ fake things…to learn about money. Justin’s was to tell everyone about the surveys they did on it kids should have year-round school and if they should wear uniforms. I went around to all the kids to listen, they all are so proud and excited to share, I love it!! After that, it was time to visit kinder and 1st grade and the main entrance/lunchroom/gym for whole school clubs and activities. The kinders are SO CUTE!! Then, they had the Aladdin group of kids that have practiced and practiced a play, sing some songs and they drew prizes, I won a meal at Qdoba! Yay! At that point I looked around and saw Chas by the door. Made me feel sick to my stomach!! When I got the kids checked out and headed home, I asked if they saw him. Paisley said yes and that she might go fishing with him and Justin said yea, and he was acting really weird, I think he had been drinking. I asked why and he said, well, when he walked in he loudly said, I know that fat kid over there and Justin said he was so uncomfortable and felt sick. Then Chas demanded he do his presentation and Justin said this isn’t a presentation. They said he went back to work. I felt so bad for them…..Chas came home about 6:30. Same as everyday, settled on the couch the rest of the evening/night.

now, today! He was gone when we woke up and didn’t come home until 2pm….Paisley and Justin had their friends from school over and had lots of fun with them! They left at 3:15. We played with the bunnies, cleaned them all up as they have diarrhea. Paisley took Toby for a walk and cleaned up get room before her friend came. I did dishes and cooked lunch. When their friends left, I ran and got my brows waxed…they were bad!!! And I had to find a SeneGence blue shirt for training tomorrow in Denver! Then headed home. Chas had pulled out steaks and was BBQ’ing them. Whenever he is in charge of a meal all he will make is meat..that’s his version of a meal! The meat was so rare..Justin felt sick from it and Paisley put hers in the microwave for another 2 minutes. I went ahead and made some potatoes and a salad..

oh, Chas meal….a can of baked beans and put hamburger in it… .. so gross!!!!

So, we all ate..then Paisley and I played with her doll (Canadian girl doll) and made the brownies she has been wanting to make for awhile. I did several loads of laundry today and did a load of dishes before washing my face, we all got Jammie’s on and called it a night. Chas spend most of his time downstairs or wherever he goes when he leaves for hours.

25th…11 years missing my mom

IMG_6795.JPGToday is always a difficult day for me! I awoke to a message from Chas

All the stuff we are going through aside. I know today is a hard day for you. Your mom was a great lady. I plan on stopping out there on my way back from Laramie.

Normal morning routine with the kiddos.. Brought them to school gave hugs and kisses. Then jumped in the shower..I just didn’t even know where to start with everything! It snowed through the night and we even had to clean it off my jeep before going to school! Crazy! After my shower, I ran to the legal aid office. It was in a huge building with multiple offices in it, never had been there before. The office was at the very end of a long corridor. Went in and no one was in there so I just sat down. After about 15 minutes, a man came out of one room and asked if he could help me. I told him I had called and left a voicemail last week and never heard back so was hoping to pop in and talk to someone to see what the process is and if I qualified. He went and talked to someone in another room then came back and asked what exactly I was needing help with and I told him a divorce. It was the first time those words had left my mouth. He handed me a card with an 800 number to call to see if I qualify. He said they can’t just take walk-in’s because the program is government funded so have to go through the proper steps. He also asked how long I have lived in Wyoming, which I said 6 years, but I am a Canadian citizen, American resident. I laughed and said, but I am legal! He had a chuckle and said they rarely work with Canadians, mostly if anyone out of country, it is Mexicans. He said if anything would tie up getting qualified, it would be my Canadian citizenship. So, I left and as soon as I got back into my jeep, called the 800 number. It took awhile to get through from being on hold but ended up talking with a lady named Julie. She asked lots of questions – birthdates, names, address, how long married, if either of us has a criminal record – Chas does, if we own or rent, if he has a retirement, where he works, if there is physical violence..she then said she would send my case up to see if someone can help me further. She also told me that custody would be leaning in my favor since he has a criminal record. I sat in the Target parking lot in my jeep while answering questions. She said I would hear the end of next week a decision on my case (if they can help me or not). After that, I came home and had a cup of water..then it was time to go get the kids. Paisley ended up walking home with Sofyia, she wanted to walk but put her extra shoes and backpack in my jeep. Justin rode with me to the house. He had a 4:20 appt for a checkup at Central Wyoming Counseling Center with the lady who prescribed his antidepressant. She is very happy with how he is doing but can see there are still major dad issues. I had Justin leave the room and told her that we are getting a divorce, but the kids don’t know this is for sure happening. She said kids know a lot more than what we say to them. I told her a little of whats going on and she knows we are headed to Canada as soon as they are on summer break, 6 weeks away. She said we need to be living in Canada with my family. She said I deserve to be happy and be around supportive family and the kids will be much happier when I am happier. She also said there is no way he would get custody. So, that was good to hear! She wants to see Justin the end of May, right before we head up north. On the way home, we ran through the drive through and grabbed supper. Came home and then Chas came home. Just like everyday, he went right downstairs to the couch…Paisley cleaned up her room and then it was bedtime.

Monday, April 24

IMG_6801.JPGWhat a horrible day this turned out to be!!! He was gone when we woke up so I got the kids breakfast going and changed and motivated for a new school week. Brought them to school and then headed home. I spent all day in his bedroom downstairs going through everything and packing my things which is mostly important papers, kids school work, medical papers and bills..also ended up with 4 big garbage bags of trash! The garbage man came today, emptied our garage can and it is already full again. That room is disgusting!!! I haven’t slept in there but a handful of times for a year. I completely cleaned it floor to ceiling over a year ago and told him if it gets trashed again, I am not cleaning it..well, it didn’t last long. He has his liquor making still in the bathroom hooked up to one of the sinks (there are two). His sink is full of pubes where he trims his junk at! I found so much mouse poop everywhere and am re-washing all the clothes I found and am keeping. I literally did this all day! Went and got the kids at 3:30 and came home..he ended up coming home about 5 and Paisley very excitedly told him he should look at his room because I’ve been cleaning it..she has never seen it clean! … He looked at me and said, “Oh, awesome!” “I hope you packed your shit, too.” Ugh! So, I went in Paisleys room as she had her baby bunnies on her bed and Justin came in and sat by me and we played with them. Chas ended up coming and standing in the door way just tearing into me with Justin sitting right there. He was saying he hasn’t seen a return on the money I used for my business..that he is changing over the accounts to just his name and it is all my fault that our family is having a difficult time. On and on and on he went. Justin was super uncomfortable and scared!! Then he left…but came right back and then was pissed off about the mortgage hasn’t been paid. I did get the rent check but to be honest, I am leery to put it in because at this point I don’t see him helping me out at all! …I will need to put some of it in the account, though, as the kids needed lunch money today. He then told Paisley that he had to go to work and was going to work all night, he had to go to Green River or something…so he left and never came back. When he left, Justin looked at me and said, “Now I know why you hide from him.” So, we ended up having Chicken Noodle Soup for supper and I brought up all the boxes and stuff from downstairs ready to go in my jeep..but it was pouring rain so I had to wait until a break in the weather. I did find my birth certificate in the downstairs bedroom, so now I have the kids and mine and we’re all set for Canada! We played with the bunnies some more before bed and then dozed off..Chas did send me a couple texts:

I. Can’t believe you. Why? Why would you do this to our family? I am beyond understanding. I honestly thought you would financially change and understanding that money is worked for and not growing on trees.

I just don’t know if we can stay together until after the Canada trip. With ur cool job u can find an apartment especially since you make good money with it. I’ll take all the bills and ur car I already paid for so no payments for you.



Sunday, April 23rd.

Lets see…we woke up and Chas was gone already..I know that there was hockey games this morning. He came home about 1:30 and told the kids the other guys were going to Buffalo Wild Wings for their little celebration. I had no intention of going. Paisley and I have been cleaning a lot and unbeknownst to her, I am packing my things in boxes of what is mine or my moms are the kids. Made lunch, made supper. He stayed downstairs on the couch watching TV the whole evening…the kids went down there and they usually start getting ready for bed at 8:30, I gave it until 9:10…I thought he would send them upstairs but he didn’t, so I called downstairs to tell them it is bedtime..he never came upstairs after that. Super annoying he can’t be a responsible parent! Tomorrow is a new day!

April 22

The kids swam in the pool for about an hour, then we all had showers and hit the road by 11AM. We found a couple Starbucks as I wanted to get the kids unicorn frappachinos, but was told they were sold out everywhere, so I figured maybe…when we get to Casper we can find some since Casper is so small. We found a Panera Bread to eat lunch at…we all had our a Fuji chicken salad, Justin a cesar chicken salad and Paisley got the broccoli cheddar soup! We shared pumpkin and chocolate chip muffies, they are like a muffin, but flat like a cookie! So yummy! When we were done we headed to Casper and got home about 4:45PM. Chas wasn’t home..and I looked up his hockey schedule and saw he played at 5:30, so we headed to the rink. He was the very last player out of the locker room which is unusual, but seeing how he skated, it was obvious. He was falling all over the ice and always behind the group..Tai’s dad even made the comment that it looked like Chas had had one too many beers…Chas never looked at the kids like he usually does when they watch him at hockey..not ONCE! so as soon as the game was over we headed to find food..we went to Sams since we could each get 2 slices of pizza for 1.98 and that would fill us up, then we walked around and looked at pool toys and such. Walked from Sams to Walmart to get bunny food (Paisley was out)..then back to the jeep and headed home. Chas still wasn’t home. I texted asking what his plan was for the evening and he said get something to eat then head home. Well, he ended up walking in the door at 10:45PM. I had already let all dogs out to potty and fed everyone. He asked if I fed and let his dogs out and I said, yes. He turned around and went downstairs, I heard the bedroom door shut. Paisley said he sounded different.

OH, between Sams and coming home, we ran home and got the baby bunnies and brought them to a friend (Holly) house to show her..she loved them! It was fun to bring them around. ­čÖé

April 21…13 years married!


I am SO glad that we got to get out of town…the kids had doctor appointments at Children’s Hospital in Denver/Aurora. Justin has had a genetics appointment for almost a year, so there was no way we would miss it. I had just gotten paid from SeneGence, so used all that money for this trip. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Chas was gone when we got up at the car packed up, topped gas off, and away down the interstate we went. It was raining when we left, which then turned to sleet and snow when we got about to Douglas. So thankful I have new tires on the jeep as the slush on the interstate was building up and slippery! We got to Denver at 11AM for Paisley’s dermatology appointment. She has a birthmark on her leg she is super self-conscious about and wants it off, so we met with derm and they will schedule her for the OR. Right after her appointment was Justin’s appointment with genetics. This appointment was in regards to a worry he may have the same connective tissue disease that I have. They did a thorough family history, health history and physical exam and they said they have no worries and don’t recommend any further testing, YEA! We were exhausted at this point, so I got a room on Funny enough, a few months ago, I had bought these cool floaty animal pool toys at Sams for our Canada trip and they were still in the back. Our room was at the Hyatt and we had a lot of fun! Lots of fun playing in the pool (I got lots of videos), then we ordered room service as I had no idea what was around this location. Paisley and I shared a BLT and strawberry banana shake and Justin got a hamburger. We all just drank ice water. Paisley slept with me and Justin got his own bed! We did have a lot of fun!

Today would be my 13th wedding anniversary. No idea what Chas did today..I am just glad I was with the kids and we had some fun and lots of laughs. This is also the day of my mom’s accident.